Friday Fun: “My Conversation with A Store Clerk” By Anil Shrivastava ‘Musafir’

“Hello! How may I help you?”
“I’d like to return this made in China GPS unit.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“I cannot update the maps.”
“Well. Have you tried to synch it with updates on their website??”
“Yes, I tried several times, but it won’t synch.”
“What happens when you try to do that?”
“It asks for the serial number. When I enter the serial number, it says product not recognized.”
“Did you register the product when you first bought it?”
“No.”
“Okay. Do you have the receipt?”
“No. I can’t find it anywhere.”
“Then I can’t give you a refund.”
“Oh no, you misunderstand. I don’t want a refund. I just want to update the maps on my GPS.”
“Okay. Do you have the original packaging?”
“No. I threw it away.”
“I can’t help you without the original packaging.”
“I don’t understand. Why do you need the packaging?”
“You may find some pertinent information on the packaging.”
“Is the serial number of the product not a pertinent information?”
“Not according to our company policy.”
“Then why do you have a serial number? Moreover, I don’t think that updating map should be that difficult?”
“To do anything I need some proof of purchase.”
“So you’re telling me you can’t do anything to help.”
“Ah well, that’s a problem. How did you pay for it? Cash or card?”
“Cash.”
“If you’d paid on card you could’ve gotten a statement from your bank proving you’d made a purchase here and on what date.”
“Well, I paid cash.”
“Our exchange policy is twenty-one days so you might be out of warranty anyway.”
“I bought it last year sometime. I don’t remember the exact date. So now I just have a useless GPS system forever?”
“Well, you could send it off to the manufacturer with a letter explaining the problem.”
“Well, the manufacturer is in China. I don’t think it’s worth the cost and hassle. Can I speak to the manager, please?”
“The manager’s off today.”
“Then can I speak to whoever’s in charge?”
“You already are. Can I help you with anything else today?”
“I doubt it.”
“Okay. Would you like to open a credit card? It’s completely free and you get five percent off every purchase.”
“No thank you.”
“If you open one today you get a free gift.”
“What’s the free gift?”
“A made in China GPS system.”

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