Humor: “Talk To Me” Compiled by ‘Musafir’

The confinement caused by Covid-19 has robbed fun from my life to a great extent. I am tired of buying everything online. I miss the personal interaction so much that I decided to visit local stores and chat with the shopkeepers. I was like a shopper without a cause. I went inside our neighborhood drug store. I went right up to the pharmacist who asked me, ““Hi! How can I help you, sir?”

Me: “Yes, I saw on the news that the President Trump was saying that you could treat the outbreak with hydroxychloroquine.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what President Trump was talking about. I don’t watch TV.”

Me: “Is there going to be a shortage? What if I can’t get hydroxychloroquine?” I loved pronouncing hydroxychloroquine.

Pharmacist: “Sir, I certainly understand your concern. Please have your doctor state the reason it’s being prescribed. At this time, we have not received word of a shortage, but we are monitoring the situation daily.”

Me: “Oh, thank you! I just heard the president saying it again on TV and now I’m afraid everyone is going to buy it up!”

Pharmacist: “Again, I don’t know what the president is talking about, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “I heard you saying twice that you didn’t know what the president was talking about. I am going to report you to the president. Thank you!”I gave the pharmacist a pack of aspirin and asked him to ring that for me.

Me: “Excuse me, how much are these aspirins?”

Pharmacist: “They’re $4.99, sir.”

Me: “The sign over there says they’re $4.99.”

Pharmacist: “That’s right.”

Me: “They said they’re $4.99 on the radio.”

Pharmacist: “Yes.”Me: “So how much are they?”

Pharmacist: “Four. Ninety. Nine.”

Me: “Well, I just don’t know.”

Pharmacist: “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

Me: “I just can’t be sure how much they are.”

Pharmacist: “Well, if I’m telling you they’re $4.99, the sign is telling you they’re $4.99, and the radio is telling you they’re $4.99, then they’re probably $4.99.”

Me: “Well, you just never know, the liberal media…”

Pharmacist: “Uh, we’re not the media, sir.”

Me: “Well, you just never know the liberal media. It could be one of the Democrat’s sneaky tricks.”

Pharmacist: “We’re not the media, sir. We’re a store and we don’t belong to any party.”

Me: “I just hope President Trump can get rid of you Democrats soon. How much are these aspirins?”

Pharmacist: “…$4.99.”

Me: “Well, I just don’t know. The liberal media. I guess I’ll have to ask someone else.”

I asked the pharmacist to wait while I picked some more stuff.

Pharmacist: “Your total is $35.37 sir.”

Me: “What about my discount?”

Pharmacist: “What discount do you mean, sir?”

Me: “I’m a member here, so I get a 10% discount.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a memberships plan for our store. You must have a different store in mind, sir.”

Me: “Listen, I want my discount now!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, we do not have a membership program.

Me: “Trump is in charge now, you know. He’ll round up all profit mongers like you and it can’t happen soon enough.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, please stop harassing me otherwise I’ll have to call the cop.”

Me: “That will be nice. Can you ask for a Republican cop? I don’t trust you Democrats.”

I left the store before the cops could show up. Oh! It felt so good talking to a real human being, after all!

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