“Blessed are the ignorant fools of the world, for they know not the unspeakable horrors that await us all.” -Dorky
“Do you know the difference between mesosphere troposphere?” Asked Nari.
“I don’t want to know a thing. Leave me alone. “I am suffering from an overload of knowledge up to my amygdala.
“That’s easily said. Do you know that we only use 10% of our brain capacity? So, how can your hippocampus be saturated?” Nari argued.
And hardly had he said it, when the telephone began to ring.
And rather than ripping the wire out of the wall, which is what I should have done as I no longer wanted to know anything, I picked up the receiver and said, “Hello’”
“Hello Sir! Do you know that warranty on your 1996 Bonneville has expired?”
‘I got rid of Bonneville five years ago and I don’t want to know anything about it anymore,” I answered in disgust hanging up on the call.
“My wife returned from her dentist appointment and announced, “Nice weather today”
“I don’t want to know.” I snapped. I controlled myself and replied, “Yes, you’re right, the weather’s very nice today.”
“How do you know? You have been sitting inside all day,” my wife asked.
“Because the sun is shining through the window, and when the sun shines through the window, you know the weather is nice” I answered.
“What do you have against nice weather? Nice weather should make you happy,” my wife wondered.
“I’ve nothing against nice weather,” I said, “I’ve nothing at all against the weather. But I don’t want to know what it’s like. The thing is, you see, I no longer want to know anything.”
My wife was so disturbed that she called Nari and said, “He’s sitting in the room and no longer wants to know anything.”
“What doesn’t he want to know?” asked Nari.
My wife said, “Nothing. He no longer wants to know anything at all. He no longer wants to know what he sees, such as what the weather’s like. He no longer wants to know what he hears, such as what people say. And he no longer wants to know what he knows, such as ways to obtain moksha or fruits of karma.”
After she hung up, she looked at me and asked, “Tell me something you don’t know anymore and ought to know.”
I said “I know a lot but the sad thing is that most of the knowledge is of no use to me. They are unnecessarily clogging my space under medial temporal lobe”
When my wife heard that, she tried to comfort me and said, “But you don’t know what the weather’s going to be like tomorrow.”
‘Yes, I don’t know what it’s going to be like,’ I replied, “but I still know what it can be like. I remember rainy days and sunny days.”
I stayed in my room, and every day my wife brought me food, I looked on my plate and said, “I know they’re potatoes, I know that’s meat, and I know that’s cauliflower – and it’s all no use.”
The next day my wife came and said, “You don’t know how to say “nice weather” in Chinese,”’ and she went out, closing the door behind her.
When I heard that, I began to think. It was true I knew no Chinese, and it was no good saying “I no longer want to know that either, because I hadn’t learned any Chinese yet.”
I called Nari and apologized to him, “Nari, I am sorry, I was rude to you, but I want to know how to say ‘nice weather’ in Chinese. How can I learn to say that?”
“Have you heard about a thing called the Internet?” Snapped Nari.
I replied, “Yes, what a great idea! Thanks.”
I looked for the answer on a thing called Google. It gave me an immediate answer. Next time when my wife brought food for me I told her, “Hǎo tiānqì.”
“What’s that?” She asked.
“That’s how you say ‘Nice weather’ in Chinese.
Thanks Google! I really don’t need to know anything anymore.